Why Don't You Like Me?
by KatarnX2B
Summary: Asuka's monoouge to the otaku.


********************************************  
Why Don't You Like Me?  
By Nathaniel Landry-Gaters  
Based on Neon Genesis Evangelion  
Characters are property of Gainex  
This story (c) Nathaniel Landry-Gaters 1999  
********************************************  
  
  
  
This is my first published fanfic. Please be nice.  
  
  
******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******  
Contains spoilers for the entire series & movie.  
******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******  
  
******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******  
This fic contains the following: Angst (with a capitol a), more angst,  
WAFF killer, even more angst, and death. You have been officially   
warned. I am not to blame for any mental instability brought on by   
reading this fic.  
***WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******WARNING******  
  
Author's Note: I don't dilly around with petty things like setting in   
this first part. I dive right into it. To make it less confusing for   
you I'll tell you the basic setting now. Asuka is in her room facing   
you (or the camera which ever thought you feel more comfortable with).   
Your back is to the window. She is sitting in a simple wooden chair out   
of the kitchen. The only light is from the moon outside the window   
allowing you to see her face clearly. I also assume things you will   
say. I won't write then out but you should figure them out. I will mark   
those places with a ^.  
  
  
  
And so it begins...  
  
  
########################################################################  
  
  
Asuka seats herself in her chair slowly and with grace. She   
begins.  
  
  
"What is it with you otaku? Why don't you like me? I've read   
your stories. I know what you think of me because the way you write me.   
What's with the surprised look? Don't you know I have internet access?   
Or is it because I can read what you write? I read what you write   
because its there. I have spare time now that End of Evangelion is   
finished. I should tell you now, just because whatever Hideaki Anno   
writes for us to do we experience, doesn't mean you we experience what   
you write for us to do. We're his creation, not yours.   
  
"Back to my original question, why don't you like me? I've seen   
the voting polls for your favorite Evangelion character. How can you   
choose Rei over me? She has no emotion for most of the series and for   
the little part she does have emotion, it just leads to her killing   
herself. At least I beat Shinji, that simpleton.  
  
"As if that wasn't enough, I've read your fan fiction of   
Evangelion. Why am I always either a supper-bitch, an invalid, or   
secretly in love with Shinji? One, I'm not a bitch. You're just   
contrasting me to the others. Shinji is almost autistic and Rei is a   
recluse. They are just so bland that when someone with a little life   
in them, like me, comes along I look like I'm extremely outspoken.   
  
"Two. I'm not an invalid. When I was in a coma that was the   
*ANGEL'S* doing. It exaggerated my emotions to an extent to render me   
immobile so that it could kill me. I don't cry secretly in my room. I   
don't cry myself to sleep. I don't cry for my mother. I don't cry at   
all. When I cried last it was because the angel had mutated my   
emotions into something so painful that it made me cry. Let me put it   
in perspective for you. I didn't cry when my mother died. I didn't cry   
when my grandmother died. I didn't cry when I got booster shots as a   
child.  
  
"Three, I don't love Shinji. ^ No I'm not in denial about it.   
You are. You just want the "Great" Shinji to get the beautiful girl and   
live happily ever after. Its not going to happen. I don't even like   
that idiot. ^ 'Then why do I torment him' you ask? Its because I want   
to see if he has even the smallest amount of backbone.  
  
" ^ Give you one good reason why not to like him? How about the   
fact that I don't need someone like him? I need someone strong. Think   
for a second. Shinji has his own problems that are just as bad as mine.   
I don't want someone to cry *with*, I want someone to cry *on*. I need   
someone who is already comfortable with themselves so that they can   
comfort me. I need help carrying my burdens. If I put any of my   
problems on Shinji he'd collapse into a fetal position chanting, 'I   
mustn't run away. I mustn't run away...' or just sit there with a dumb   
look on his face and say something stupid like, 'Oh..! Asuka!'. I can't   
tell just anybody my problems either. These things are very personal to   
me.  
  
"Why do you think I like Kaji? He was sure of himself. He had   
worked out all of his problems and was willing to take on other's   
problems. He was strong willed and nice. My cup of pain is overflowing.   
His only had a sip. Why couldn't I just share a little of my pain with   
someone else? I deserve a little happiness, don't I? If I could just   
get rid of some of this pain then I'll have more room in my cup for   
joy... and happiness... and.. love.  
  
"But you put me across as someone who is just trying to hide   
herself away from the world. I'm not. I just don't want to hurt anybody   
else. If I save someone the hurt of knowing that I hurt and yet they   
can't do anything, then I would rather give them the lesser hurt of a   
sore cheek or bruised ego. Those can heal. I hide my true self so I   
won't hurt myself by hurting others. ^ Of course I'll be hurting the   
one I find to tell all my problems to. That's why it has to be someone   
I love. So I can be there to comfort him in return."  
  
Asuka shifts from her calm position to a more aggressive one.  
  
"And what's with me always saying 'baka' and 'dumpkophf'? If   
you're writing in English, stay in English. If you're writing in   
German, stay in German. The occasional dumpkophf isn't bad as long as   
you know how to restrain yourself.  
  
"Sie können nicht verstehen, dieses können jetzt Sie? Mögen es   
nicht, wenn Sie am empfangenden Ende tun Sie sind?  
  
"*Humph* The least you should do is offer a good translator   
page at the top of the page. ^ I understand artistic use of a foreign   
language. If you don't want them to understand until later. All I'm   
saying is pick a language and stick with it.  
  
" ^ I *don't* need praise for piloting Eva. That's Shinji's   
hang up, not mine. I do it because if I didn't then I let Eva take   
something from me. It took my mother. So I got into it and controlled   
it. I made it do what I told it to. I broke it because it hurt me. It   
took something from me, my mother. So I took something from it, its   
free will. Only fair.  
  
" ^ Back to *this* again? I kissed him because I was bored. It   
was either that or die of boredom. It didn't matter who was there. I   
would have kissed *Suzahara* if he had been there. To tell the truth I   
would have rather it been Touhji than Shinji. ^ I do, but he is stronger  
willed than Shinji and a helluva lot better looking. ^ *I* kiss for   
boredom. That means *someone* kisses when they're bored.  
  
"Why do you insist on having Shinji save me in your stories?   
Don't you know I'm a much better pilot than him? ^ Only after the   
coolant lines were cut! I had just killed an angel! Inside an *active*   
volcano! Let's see you do that! Besides I paid him back during the next   
angel attack.  
  
"Now stop asking questions! You haven't answered my question   
yet. Why don't you like me? I've explained myself to you, now explain   
yourself to me. Why do you choose Rei over me as your favorite   
character? Why does Shinji always appear to be the greatest Eva pilot   
of all times when he's really a bumbling idiot? Why do I always comes   
across as just having a front so that I won't get hurt? Why do I always   
end up running into my room and crying? Why do I always have to fall in  
love with Shinji in your stories? Tell me. ^  
  
"Then so be it. I guess mamma was right."  
  
########################################################################  
  
Shinji is seated at the kitchen table eating his dinner. Misato   
has already finished eating and is starting on her third beer of the   
night. Shinji looks to where there is normally another chair around the  
table.  
  
"Misato, what happened to that other chair?" Ask Shinji.  
  
"Asuka took it. She said she had to change a light bulb in her   
room." Replies Misato over the rim of her beer.  
  
"She shouldn't stand on a chair. She could fall. Why didn't she   
use a ladder?"  
  
"We don't have a ladder."  
  
"Oh."  
  
As if to prove Shinji right there is the noise of a chair   
falling over from Asuka's room. Shinji sighs. Without warning Shinji   
Stands straight up.  
  
What's wrong?" Ask Misato.  
  
"Its quiet." He replies.  
  
Sure enough its completely silent in the apartment, save for   
the hum of the refrigerators. It completely lacks the normal shouting   
and cursing in German that follows any incident involving Asuka.  
  
"Asuka! Are you okay?!" Yells Misato.  
  
Shinji quickly makes his way to Asuka's room. He opens Asuka's   
door and peers in.  
  
"AHHHHHHH! MISATO COME QUICK!!" Shinji's yell causes Misato to   
stand and bolt to Asuka's room, spilling her beer on the floor in the   
process.  
  
When Misato arrives she sees Shinji on the chair that fell over,  
trying to get Asuka out of the noose she used to hang herself from the   
light fixture. By the time Shinji manages to get Asuka down Misato   
already has her cell phone out and is calling for help.  
  
Misato kneels by Shinji, who is on the floor cradling Asuka's   
limp form in his arms crying over it. Misato places two of her fingers   
on Asuka's neck. When Misato doesn't feel a pulse she moves her hand up   
to Asuka's eyes and closes them.  
  
Shinji looks up at Misato with tears in his eyes and on his   
cheeks. He notices the person standing, shocked, in front of the   
window.  
  
"YOU! This is *all* *your* *fault*!" Shouts Shinji at the   
reader.  
  
Shinji tightens his hold on Asuka's still warm body as if it   
would somehow bring her back.  
  
########################################################################  
  
The author calmly moves one of his braids, that fell on his   
face, out of the way.  
  
"So, how did you like it?" He asks with an evil grin.  
  
He begins a malicious laugh as he hears all the complaints   
about killing off Asuka from the crowd.  
  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!! You should feel lucky. My other   
ending was much more graphic than this one. I think I'll switch this   
ending for the graphic one. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!"  
  
The author shields his face as he is pelted with Prozac from   
the audience.  
  
"Hey, I *warned* you! You didn't *have* to read this! Look at   
the warnings! The Angst, more angst, even more angst, and death should   
be easily picked out. The WAFF killer was the part about not loving, or   
even liking, Shinji. If you had read the warnings then you should have   
figured out that since it was a monologue, Asuka would die. Even if you   
didn't realize what was going to happen then when Asuka said, 'I guess   
mamma was right' you should have known what was going to happen. Then   
there was that little Shinji-Misato dialogue. Notice I did not specify   
there was the sound of a *body* hitting the floor."  
  
The author frowns at all the pleas for a re-write of the ending   
or at least a spoofy, mood lightening, after story.  
  
"Fine!" He yells, "You want another story?! Just wait and see   
what I do to Misato!!"  
  
The author notices men in white coats coming towards him with a   
heavy jacket with wrap around sleeves.  
  
"Hey! Okay, okay, okay."  
  
The author reaches into his EFSK (Emergency Fanfic Survival   
Kit), past the insulin, under the salt packets, past the P.K. Jelly (in   
case of lemons), to the pez dispenser full of Prozac. He pops two   
tablets into his mouth and swallows them.  
  
"Happy? Good."  
  
He smiles devilishly.  
  
"It doesn't really matter. I don't have to kill Misato.   
Hideaki-san already took care of that. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! I think   
I'm getting the hang of this evil laugh thing.  
  
"HEY! Be nice. This is my first published fanfic. I was just   
sick of all those people out there who crave WAFF in large quantities   
who write crap where it ends with everyone's problems solved. Just cheap  
rip-offs of something by Alian Gravel, Axel Terzaki, or some other WAFF   
writer. I decided that I would kill my lead character just to piss   
people off and to make all the Maya Ibuki wannabies out there cry. If   
any of you have a problem with it, come closer. I've got something in   
my pants I want you to suck before I slap you in the face with it."  
  
The author looks at the crowd with cold eyes. An evil grin once   
more spreads across his face.  
  
"I know what I'll do. Shinji," He grabs the young pilot from   
back stage and puts a gun to his head, "you're going to die next. How   
does the peanut gallery feel about that, huh?"  
  
The author's eyes open wide at all the cheers from the audience.  
  
"I don't care. Go ahead and kill me." Says Shinji.  
  
"Fine, If you want to ruin my fun then I'll kill Rei."  
  
The author points the gun at Rei and puts a neat little hole in   
her head. He turns to Shinji and plants a bullet between his eyes.  
  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!"  
  
########################################################################  
  
Okay, just had to get that out my system.   
  
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Why?" I did this   
because I'm sick of the normal fanfic. As I'm not normal, I don't like   
anything normal. I hate most normal things. I hate it when the good   
guys when. I'm one of those people who want to see Wyle E. to catch,   
skin, cook, and eat the Roadrunner with graphic pictures of the   
process. Think of this as my "Rage Against The Machine".   
  
I know this is depressing. I wanted something to try and balance  
all those fics out there that have so much goddamn WAFF in them.  
  
All of Asuka's views are what I think they would be if she   
found some of that *crap* people write.  
  
I really am going to write a fanfic about Misato next. I'm not   
going to kill her though. Its going to be on my own personal views of   
what happened before Second Impact. She won't die because if she did it   
wouldn't fit with the series or movie.  
  
Oh, by the way, I'm looking for pre-readers and an editor. I'm   
also open to a possible partner for some work (preferably female to   
write the female characters better [I'll settle for a man])  
  
  
  
E-Mail:KatarnX2B@NetZero.net  



End file.
